Last week I had a phone conversation that went something like this:
(ring ring, ring ring)
Me: Hello
Caller: Mark, what ups
Me: Hey man, what you been up to?
Caller: nothing really, just working
Me: Cool, what’s up?
Caller: Hey man, I kind of have a favor to ask. But before I ask I want to tell you this, please please don’t feel obligated. Don’t feel like you have to say yes, I totally understand if it doesn’t work out.
(Whenever somebody says something like this I think, oh great, this is going to cost me something.)
Me: alright, what is it?
Caller: It’s my nephew…
My old friend goes on to tell me about a situation that his cousin is having. He’s struggling at home. His parents and he are at odds and it’s come to a point where something has got to change. I’ve always thought of the military academy as the last resort but I believe they have already come to this point. So how am I involved, you ask? For this kid to get accepted into the academy he needs to have a mentor. I used to work in youth ministry and give guitar lessons to high school students so I guess my name was thrown into the hat. The best I could do is tell my friend that I would meet with the parents and kid. The day before our meeting Jill was asking me what my obligation would be…how many times do we have to meet, what kind of time commitment…stuff like that. I told her I had no idea. I honestly didn’t know how I would respond until I met with the family.
It was 3:30 in the afternoon and we met a Starbucks. I got more information on the situation. I learned about their backgrounds and what their expectations were. I would have to drive out to Queen Creek twice a month, email once a week, and plan social outings once a month. Honestly, and I mean honestly. This did not sound appealing to me. Not because I don’t like the kid, but because I am a selfish person. These outings sound like burdens instead of fun activities. I spent the first fifteen minutes figuring out how I can tell these guys “no”. Then after 30 minutes of conversation, something changed in me. Do you know what changed my heart? I looked at my friend’s cousin…his head held low, eyes buried in a hat, playing with the straw in his empty drink. After knowing what I was obligating myself to, the parents asked me if I would be willing to be his mentor. I thought for a second, looked at the kid, then just blurted it out “yah, I think he’s worth it.” How do I look this kid in the face and tell him he’s not worth my time? I don’t have the heart to do it…and in fact, the exact opposite is true. He deserves more than just my time, he deserves my compassion. Who knows if this kid has ever heard these words or if he will ever hear them again. But everybody deserves to hear it at least once in their lifetime.
Final thought: Tomorrow I leave for an adventure with my friend Israel to celebrate his 30th birthday. I’m so excited, it’s going to be epic. With epic adventures come epic stories. I’m sure I’ll have one or two when I get back.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
ministry, a smoke, and an apology
Part 1 What I hate about being in ministry
The weekend before last oneplace had an awesome church event. In fact, it went ten times better than I thought it would. We had a oneplace bicycle road rally. It was epic. There was about 25 of us that started off from the church. The rally would lead us from oneplace to Steele Indian School Park. Sam and Nelson rode ahead and actually blocked off 2nd and 3rd street. I thought, “holy crap, this is so official.” Our trek north consumed one full lane of traffic for about 2 miles. We eventually came to our final destination where we met picnic tables of food. The weather was amazing, the grape soda was better than champagne, the conversations flowed easily, etc. To top it all off, we ended our bbq/rally with a kick ball game…wombats vs. the pterodactyls. It was neck and neck all the way down to the last inning. It ended with Sam gunning the ball at Chad as he was running home…when at the last second Chad leaps like a gazelle and the wisps under his feet. There were many cheers.
So what is the thing I hate about ministry? The reality is about half the people at the rally will not be at oneplace in two years. onePlace has seen an unusually high turn over rate since its birth. It’s not a bad thing, just something I hate. We minister to many young people who are just trying to navigate their way through life, discover passions, and pursue dreams. I love seeing others challenge themselves with new experience and a part of me is even jealous. Every month I hear that somebody is moving away. And because our demographic is so transient, some people that you think are totally committed just don’t come back. It’s the strangest thing. I love my church but that is something I definitely hate…being close to someone and seeing them move so far away.
Part 2 Jesse wants a smoke
This last weekend Rise Up had its grand opening in downtown Phoenix and it was a marathon of events. A bunch of people came in from out of town to celebrate the flagship store. Jesse, the founder of Rise Up International, is one of those guys that you can talk to for about 60 seconds and feel like you’ve been friends for years. On Thursday night a small group of people decided to gather at the store to share some drinks before the weekend festivities. (for those not present, there was also a promo party on Friday night and a grand opening party at the san carlos) Jesse and I share a hug, talk about the family, and admire the store. Five minutes later Travis goes outside to have a smoke and Jesse says, “that sounds good, I’ll go with.” A few of us head outside and all is good…until jesse says, “my wife is going to be so pissed, she hates it when I smoke.” We all laugh, then he says, “no really, she’s gonna be pissed.” Well now he’s just raised the anticipation of when this confrontation will happen. Sure enough Maria walks outside, sees Jesse smoking, shoots him a look, then goes back inside. Honestly it wasn’t that bad, I’ve had much worse. But jesse says, “oh man we’re going to be talking about this one later.” I turn to Jesse and offer a piece of advice. I say to him, “I to have gotten the stare before, and I to have had this same talk.” I told him a simple phrase that has helped me soften the ground. The phrase is, “I have a problem, I make bad choices.” Jesse just turns to me and starts laughing. He says, “I love it, it’s so honest.” I hope it helped Jesse.
Part 3 I’m sorry Brittany
Brittany has been on me the last two weeks about blogging. Who knows if anyone even reads this anymore. One of my fatal flaws is that I become obsessed and indifferent so quickly. I once went on a health kick and lost like 80 pounds in 6 months. I’ve now spent the last six years putting it back on. I once spent two hours every day practicing the guitar and now I barely play 2 hours a week. A year ago I played poker three days a week and now my desire to play has diminished. In fact I’m going to Vegas today and it will be the first time I’ve played in about three weeks. This has also carried over into my relationships. I’ve been a groomsman or best man in 8 weddings and I don’t have regular contact with any of them…that’s right, none of them. Don’t get me wrong, when I meet with old friends it usually takes about 30 seconds to get back to the way things were. But that doesn’t change the fact that people come and go from my life too easily. I haven’t blogged over the last couple of weeks because I just haven’t thought about. So I’m sorry Brittany, I’m trying to change. Maybe this my first step.
The weekend before last oneplace had an awesome church event. In fact, it went ten times better than I thought it would. We had a oneplace bicycle road rally. It was epic. There was about 25 of us that started off from the church. The rally would lead us from oneplace to Steele Indian School Park. Sam and Nelson rode ahead and actually blocked off 2nd and 3rd street. I thought, “holy crap, this is so official.” Our trek north consumed one full lane of traffic for about 2 miles. We eventually came to our final destination where we met picnic tables of food. The weather was amazing, the grape soda was better than champagne, the conversations flowed easily, etc. To top it all off, we ended our bbq/rally with a kick ball game…wombats vs. the pterodactyls. It was neck and neck all the way down to the last inning. It ended with Sam gunning the ball at Chad as he was running home…when at the last second Chad leaps like a gazelle and the wisps under his feet. There were many cheers.
So what is the thing I hate about ministry? The reality is about half the people at the rally will not be at oneplace in two years. onePlace has seen an unusually high turn over rate since its birth. It’s not a bad thing, just something I hate. We minister to many young people who are just trying to navigate their way through life, discover passions, and pursue dreams. I love seeing others challenge themselves with new experience and a part of me is even jealous. Every month I hear that somebody is moving away. And because our demographic is so transient, some people that you think are totally committed just don’t come back. It’s the strangest thing. I love my church but that is something I definitely hate…being close to someone and seeing them move so far away.
Part 2 Jesse wants a smoke
This last weekend Rise Up had its grand opening in downtown Phoenix and it was a marathon of events. A bunch of people came in from out of town to celebrate the flagship store. Jesse, the founder of Rise Up International, is one of those guys that you can talk to for about 60 seconds and feel like you’ve been friends for years. On Thursday night a small group of people decided to gather at the store to share some drinks before the weekend festivities. (for those not present, there was also a promo party on Friday night and a grand opening party at the san carlos) Jesse and I share a hug, talk about the family, and admire the store. Five minutes later Travis goes outside to have a smoke and Jesse says, “that sounds good, I’ll go with.” A few of us head outside and all is good…until jesse says, “my wife is going to be so pissed, she hates it when I smoke.” We all laugh, then he says, “no really, she’s gonna be pissed.” Well now he’s just raised the anticipation of when this confrontation will happen. Sure enough Maria walks outside, sees Jesse smoking, shoots him a look, then goes back inside. Honestly it wasn’t that bad, I’ve had much worse. But jesse says, “oh man we’re going to be talking about this one later.” I turn to Jesse and offer a piece of advice. I say to him, “I to have gotten the stare before, and I to have had this same talk.” I told him a simple phrase that has helped me soften the ground. The phrase is, “I have a problem, I make bad choices.” Jesse just turns to me and starts laughing. He says, “I love it, it’s so honest.” I hope it helped Jesse.
Part 3 I’m sorry Brittany
Brittany has been on me the last two weeks about blogging. Who knows if anyone even reads this anymore. One of my fatal flaws is that I become obsessed and indifferent so quickly. I once went on a health kick and lost like 80 pounds in 6 months. I’ve now spent the last six years putting it back on. I once spent two hours every day practicing the guitar and now I barely play 2 hours a week. A year ago I played poker three days a week and now my desire to play has diminished. In fact I’m going to Vegas today and it will be the first time I’ve played in about three weeks. This has also carried over into my relationships. I’ve been a groomsman or best man in 8 weddings and I don’t have regular contact with any of them…that’s right, none of them. Don’t get me wrong, when I meet with old friends it usually takes about 30 seconds to get back to the way things were. But that doesn’t change the fact that people come and go from my life too easily. I haven’t blogged over the last couple of weeks because I just haven’t thought about. So I’m sorry Brittany, I’m trying to change. Maybe this my first step.
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