A New Mentor

Last week I had a phone conversation that went something like this:

(ring ring, ring ring)

Me: Hello
Caller: Mark, what ups
Me: Hey man, what you been up to?
Caller: nothing really, just working
Me: Cool, what’s up?
Caller: Hey man, I kind of have a favor to ask. But before I ask I want to tell you this, please please don’t feel obligated. Don’t feel like you have to say yes, I totally understand if it doesn’t work out.

(Whenever somebody says something like this I think, oh great, this is going to cost me something.)

Me: alright, what is it?
Caller: It’s my nephew…

My old friend goes on to tell me about a situation that his cousin is having. He’s struggling at home. His parents and he are at odds and it’s come to a point where something has got to change. I’ve always thought of the military academy as the last resort but I believe they have already come to this point. So how am I involved, you ask? For this kid to get accepted into the academy he needs to have a mentor. I used to work in youth ministry and give guitar lessons to high school students so I guess my name was thrown into the hat. The best I could do is tell my friend that I would meet with the parents and kid. The day before our meeting Jill was asking me what my obligation would be…how many times do we have to meet, what kind of time commitment…stuff like that. I told her I had no idea. I honestly didn’t know how I would respond until I met with the family.

It was 3:30 in the afternoon and we met a Starbucks. I got more information on the situation. I learned about their backgrounds and what their expectations were. I would have to drive out to Queen Creek twice a month, email once a week, and plan social outings once a month. Honestly, and I mean honestly. This did not sound appealing to me. Not because I don’t like the kid, but because I am a selfish person. These outings sound like burdens instead of fun activities. I spent the first fifteen minutes figuring out how I can tell these guys “no”. Then after 30 minutes of conversation, something changed in me. Do you know what changed my heart? I looked at my friend’s cousin…his head held low, eyes buried in a hat, playing with the straw in his empty drink. After knowing what I was obligating myself to, the parents asked me if I would be willing to be his mentor. I thought for a second, looked at the kid, then just blurted it out “yah, I think he’s worth it.” How do I look this kid in the face and tell him he’s not worth my time? I don’t have the heart to do it…and in fact, the exact opposite is true. He deserves more than just my time, he deserves my compassion. Who knows if this kid has ever heard these words or if he will ever hear them again. But everybody deserves to hear it at least once in their lifetime.

Final thought: Tomorrow I leave for an adventure with my friend Israel to celebrate his 30th birthday. I’m so excited, it’s going to be epic. With epic adventures come epic stories. I’m sure I’ll have one or two when I get back.