Waiting in Line

So it’s lunch time and Quizno’s is on my mind…to be more specific, the prime rib and peppercorn sandwich. I yell to kevo, “I’m thinking Quizno’s for lunch, you in?” He gives the confirmation with a “yes-ir”. It’s a deal and we’re off to engage in magical prime rib and peppercorn heaven. We stand through the long line and order our food. “hey kev, let’s just eat in the church parking lot.” “yah man.” We sit in the back lot whenever our teeth start to chatter. Sometimes it does get that cold. We get in the truck, I throw it into reverse, then…knock, knock, knock. There is a tired looking man I had never met before standing next to my truck and before I roll down the window I know what he is going to ask. “hey man, can you break bread with me?” In my mind this automatically translates to, “can I have some money?”

When I first met Ace, our resident street friend, he seemed to be somebody I connected with…somebody I could be honest with and somebody who would be honest with me. I once asked him what he believed was the percentage of people living on the streets that have substance abuse issues. He flat told me “all of them.” I then asked him if the money they receive ever goes towards food and shelter. He told me almost never. Ace says, “You have to be an idiot to go hungry in Phoenix. There are so many places willing to get you food.” He then told me that if I wanted to help somebody out, don’t give money, take them to get food. So I adopted this philosophy. I’ve stopped giving out money, but have started providing meals. What I have found is most people asking for money turn down my offer for food.

I was quick to tell the man at Quizno’s that I would not give him money but I would get him a sandwich. Secretly, I was hoping he would just walk away. But instead his eyes lit up and pointed towards the street, “okay, I’ll be waiting right over there.” I didn’t want to wait in the line again. I was really hungry. And Quizno’s is the most expensive fast food available. But you know what happens next, I quickly threw it in reverse and got out of there. No no no, I’m just kidding. I reluctantly get out of the truck, look at Kevin and mutter under my breath, “I’m so carnal.” This guy is begging for a sandwich and I don’t want to wait in line again. What’s wrong with this picture? It’s easy to throw a couple of bucks at a guy. It eases my conscience and makes for a quick transaction. It’s clean…sanitary…convenient. But clean, sanitary, and convenient love is selfish love. I don’t want that kind of love from others, so it’s not the kind of love I should give. When it comes to the way I love, I have spent too much time in my truck. I think I need to get out and wait in line more often.