Is it possible that I'm always wrong? To me, this would seem statistically improbable. But when ever I get in a fight with Jill, I always feel like it's my fault (at least 93% of the time). I'll admit that I'm probably in the wrong at least 51% of the time. But it's not possible to be wrong all the time. (I understand that in most fights each party is partially to blame, but usually there is one that is a little more wrong than the other. We'll reserve this discussion for fights where there is at least 70% wrongness on the behalf an individual.) I wish there were a magical trainer that could sit on my shoulder and tell me when I was right...you know, to hold my ground. But when the bell sounds and we go to our seperate corners, I feel like my trainer is saying, "hey champ, you lost that round...and you lost the previous rounds as well. You're not looking good out there." And as I look across the ring I see my wife. Her trainer is rubbing her shoulders saying, "nice round, you look good. You've got nothing to worry about, he's way out matched." This is so frustrating. When is it my turn to win.
I remember my pastor growing up telling me that if I wanted a long happy marriage I should learn two words, "Yes dear." Screw that...that doesn't seem happy. God has wired us to be free thinkers and individually unique. That's what makes this thing so hard to reconcile. If a couple says they never disagree, it's either because they are lying or one person doesn't have a mind of their own. I appreciate the fact that Jill is an individual and a free thinker. It's one of the things I love about her. In fact, my marriage would be boring if Jill never challenged me. So I will conclude with this...Jill and I got into a fight and I don't know which one is right. I feel that I'm right at least 25% of the time, I just don't know what 25%. I believe my pride tells me that I'm right more frequent than what is reality. So maybe I shouldn't concentrate on the 25% of the time I'm right, but concentrate on the 75% of the time I'm wrong.
PS. I still think I'm right. ;)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Things I learned last night
So last night I got to run sound for the onePlace venue. It doesn't happen very often. But Josh was out of town so I got brought up from the minors. It was a pretty uneventful night, but here are some of the things I learned last night.
1. Teenagers that play 2000 dollar guitars and have custom amps make me sick. I just want to walk on stage, look him in the face, and break one of his strings.
2. Brittany Shedd is a good dancer.
3. The Christian band was the most demanding and the hardest to work with. (which drives me nuts...I've ran sound for hardcore and metal shows and they never complain about anything.)
4. Kelly Clarkson is not good filler music while the bands are tearing down and loading in. But Noise Ratchet is.
5. I miss being in a band.
6. Running sound, running lights and eating a cheesy bean and rice burrito is not as hard as it sounds.
7. Thoughtful text messages make the world a better place. Everybody should send one after reading this.
8. I'm so proud to be apart of the downtown scene.
9. Miah and Shells are my breath of fresh air. Thanks for the company.
10.Voting has closed and I disagree with the verdict. An overwhelming 47 % of the vote said that I owe Jill a back massage. I might not like it, but justice has prevailed.
1. Teenagers that play 2000 dollar guitars and have custom amps make me sick. I just want to walk on stage, look him in the face, and break one of his strings.
2. Brittany Shedd is a good dancer.
3. The Christian band was the most demanding and the hardest to work with. (which drives me nuts...I've ran sound for hardcore and metal shows and they never complain about anything.)
4. Kelly Clarkson is not good filler music while the bands are tearing down and loading in. But Noise Ratchet is.
5. I miss being in a band.
6. Running sound, running lights and eating a cheesy bean and rice burrito is not as hard as it sounds.
7. Thoughtful text messages make the world a better place. Everybody should send one after reading this.
8. I'm so proud to be apart of the downtown scene.
9. Miah and Shells are my breath of fresh air. Thanks for the company.
10.Voting has closed and I disagree with the verdict. An overwhelming 47 % of the vote said that I owe Jill a back massage. I might not like it, but justice has prevailed.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Reserved for really REALLY big fights
Do you ever have that feeling that someone is upset with you, but you don’t really know why? Like you obviously did something wrong, but it’s not obvious to you. Well, I woke up this morning and felt like Jill was giving me the cold shoulder. Not an icy cold shoulder, just a moderately chilly shoulder.
I got out of bed this morning and slumbered towards the bathroom. In my groggy state, I rubbed my eyes to clean out the cobwebs. You could still see the outline of a wrinkled up pillow case on my cheek. Jill and I met eyes in the bathroom but no words were exchanged. I watched her do her hair for a few seconds when she said, “I’m taking the kids to get pictures today.” That was it. I was getting the sense that something wasn’t right. So I asked her if she was alright. She responded with a half hearted “I’m fine.” But if you could hear the tone in her voice you would know that she wasn’t fine. What she was saying was, “I’m fine”, but what I was hearing was, “you’re a douche bag.”
So I asked her again “what’s the matter?” Her second response was the more sincere one. She said to me, “I hate it when you fall asleep on the couch. I just want you to be in bed with me.” Jill was referring to the fact that I fell asleep on the couch watching poker around 10:30 and didn’t come to bed till 4am. Historically in our marriage, falling asleep on the couch is reserved for really really big fights (it’s happened maybe 5 or 6 times) …not for reruns of poker after dark. So when she woke up at 2 and noticed I wasn’t in bed, she associated it with the feelings of being in a fight. When I saw her in the morning we were not fighting, but it still had the atmosphere of a fight. I went out of my way to tell her that it wasn’t anything personal and that it was unintentional. I think she understood but that shoulder sure was chilly.
As a guy, it is so easy for me to blow something like this off. In fact many times I do. Because the things that make my wife feel insecure don’t even register on my scale. But as a husband and a father…it is my job to make sure those things matter. I’m sure at a rational level Jill is at peace, but that’s not good enough for me. I want her to wake up at 2am, see that I’m next to her, and feel totally safe. That’s what matters. So for now on, falling asleep on the couch is reserved for really really big fights.
I got out of bed this morning and slumbered towards the bathroom. In my groggy state, I rubbed my eyes to clean out the cobwebs. You could still see the outline of a wrinkled up pillow case on my cheek. Jill and I met eyes in the bathroom but no words were exchanged. I watched her do her hair for a few seconds when she said, “I’m taking the kids to get pictures today.” That was it. I was getting the sense that something wasn’t right. So I asked her if she was alright. She responded with a half hearted “I’m fine.” But if you could hear the tone in her voice you would know that she wasn’t fine. What she was saying was, “I’m fine”, but what I was hearing was, “you’re a douche bag.”
So I asked her again “what’s the matter?” Her second response was the more sincere one. She said to me, “I hate it when you fall asleep on the couch. I just want you to be in bed with me.” Jill was referring to the fact that I fell asleep on the couch watching poker around 10:30 and didn’t come to bed till 4am. Historically in our marriage, falling asleep on the couch is reserved for really really big fights (it’s happened maybe 5 or 6 times) …not for reruns of poker after dark. So when she woke up at 2 and noticed I wasn’t in bed, she associated it with the feelings of being in a fight. When I saw her in the morning we were not fighting, but it still had the atmosphere of a fight. I went out of my way to tell her that it wasn’t anything personal and that it was unintentional. I think she understood but that shoulder sure was chilly.
As a guy, it is so easy for me to blow something like this off. In fact many times I do. Because the things that make my wife feel insecure don’t even register on my scale. But as a husband and a father…it is my job to make sure those things matter. I’m sure at a rational level Jill is at peace, but that’s not good enough for me. I want her to wake up at 2am, see that I’m next to her, and feel totally safe. That’s what matters. So for now on, falling asleep on the couch is reserved for really really big fights.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
optimist vs. pessimist
If you guys haven't already figured this out, Jill and I are different in so many ways. Don't misread this, I love my wife a million times over, but we are definitely uniquely wired. Some of it is just gender difference, but other stuff is personality differences. One thing that most people don't know about us is that I'm generally the pessimist and Jill is generally the optimist. Jill always sees the glass half full and I see it half empty. Which is really weird because I'm usually the dreamer and Jill is the realist. Strange, huh. I think I can attribute this to a couple of factors.
1. Jill puts an amazing amount of faith in people. Sometimes I get frustrated by this because I feel that she is being naive...like I somehow have the right to tell her who to trust. But she doesn't see it as naivety, she believes in trusting people until they give you a reason not to trust them. This may frustrate me at times, but this is also what makes her so good at loving people.
2. I need proof. I like facts and numbers. These are the things that keep my mind in order. Without them, I can feel lost in a situation. Somebody can tell me a true statement, but it's not true in my mind until I can tangible "hold on" to something. Sometimes it feels arrogant to be this way. I wish I didn't always need proof.
Jill loves getting stuff for free. She is a deal hunter. In our old neighborhood, we would have large trash pickup on the first Monday of the month. Jill would drive the block looking for stuff to pickup. She would come home with a packed trunk and show off her treasures. Jill the optimist sees a treasure, Mark the pessimist sees the trash. When Jill and I first got married she would always get phone calls about sitting through these time share presentations and getting a free gift in the end. I would always say, "it's a scam, I'm not going." It seemed ridiculous to get such a big gift for sitting through a 90 minute presentation. In fact, I remember her talking on the phone and signing us up for an appointment. I just sat in the background and yelled, "I'm not going, hang up the phone. I'm not going, hang up the phone." This would always bum Jill out. I can't tell you how many times Jill has signed up for the these time share things, but I've always refused going because it's obviously a scam. Until...one day...I saw Israel's Macbook Pro.
One day Israel told me that a friend of his got a Macbook Pro for free by signing up for these offer things. Mark the pessimist said, "that's great Israel, go for it and let me know how it turns out. (wink wink)" Israel went to the website, signed up for the offers and three months later I'm staring at his Macbook...for free, did I tell you that part. (the website actually discontinued the offer because so many people were doing it) Israel the optimist, a laptop. Mark the pessimist, no laptop. Israel...laptop. Mark...no laptop.
So Israel gets a phone call about a time share presentation and signs up immediately. When asked if he wants to refer anybody, he gives them Jill's name and number. So what does Jill do you ask? Our appointment was Saturday at 12:30. And for the first time ever, I said I would go. I don't know if you remember but I was feeling inspired by, Israel...laptop, Mark...no laptop. I thought to myself, what do I have to lose, I'll give it a try. So we politely sat through the whole presentation. At the very end the "closer" came in to make the deal. He showed us the numbers and tried working his magic, but we held strong and declined the offer. Before I knew it, we were being walked down the hallway to pick up our gift. Was it really that easy? A lady handed us an envelope and said, "inside is your voucher for 2 nights in San Diego, 2 passes to sea world, and a 100 dollar gift card. Do you have any questions?" The moral of the story; Mark the optimist...trip to San Diego. Mark the pessimist...another weekend sitting at home. I think the optimist will enjoy life a little more.
1. Jill puts an amazing amount of faith in people. Sometimes I get frustrated by this because I feel that she is being naive...like I somehow have the right to tell her who to trust. But she doesn't see it as naivety, she believes in trusting people until they give you a reason not to trust them. This may frustrate me at times, but this is also what makes her so good at loving people.
2. I need proof. I like facts and numbers. These are the things that keep my mind in order. Without them, I can feel lost in a situation. Somebody can tell me a true statement, but it's not true in my mind until I can tangible "hold on" to something. Sometimes it feels arrogant to be this way. I wish I didn't always need proof.
Jill loves getting stuff for free. She is a deal hunter. In our old neighborhood, we would have large trash pickup on the first Monday of the month. Jill would drive the block looking for stuff to pickup. She would come home with a packed trunk and show off her treasures. Jill the optimist sees a treasure, Mark the pessimist sees the trash. When Jill and I first got married she would always get phone calls about sitting through these time share presentations and getting a free gift in the end. I would always say, "it's a scam, I'm not going." It seemed ridiculous to get such a big gift for sitting through a 90 minute presentation. In fact, I remember her talking on the phone and signing us up for an appointment. I just sat in the background and yelled, "I'm not going, hang up the phone. I'm not going, hang up the phone." This would always bum Jill out. I can't tell you how many times Jill has signed up for the these time share things, but I've always refused going because it's obviously a scam. Until...one day...I saw Israel's Macbook Pro.
One day Israel told me that a friend of his got a Macbook Pro for free by signing up for these offer things. Mark the pessimist said, "that's great Israel, go for it and let me know how it turns out. (wink wink)" Israel went to the website, signed up for the offers and three months later I'm staring at his Macbook...for free, did I tell you that part. (the website actually discontinued the offer because so many people were doing it) Israel the optimist, a laptop. Mark the pessimist, no laptop. Israel...laptop. Mark...no laptop.
So Israel gets a phone call about a time share presentation and signs up immediately. When asked if he wants to refer anybody, he gives them Jill's name and number. So what does Jill do you ask? Our appointment was Saturday at 12:30. And for the first time ever, I said I would go. I don't know if you remember but I was feeling inspired by, Israel...laptop, Mark...no laptop. I thought to myself, what do I have to lose, I'll give it a try. So we politely sat through the whole presentation. At the very end the "closer" came in to make the deal. He showed us the numbers and tried working his magic, but we held strong and declined the offer. Before I knew it, we were being walked down the hallway to pick up our gift. Was it really that easy? A lady handed us an envelope and said, "inside is your voucher for 2 nights in San Diego, 2 passes to sea world, and a 100 dollar gift card. Do you have any questions?" The moral of the story; Mark the optimist...trip to San Diego. Mark the pessimist...another weekend sitting at home. I think the optimist will enjoy life a little more.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I thought you were my friend
Websters Dictionary defines friend as
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem 2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group3: one that favors or promotes (as a charity)4: a favored companion
Websters Dictionary defines enemy as
1: one that is antagonistic to another; especially : one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent2: something harmful or deadly 3 a: a military adversary b: a hostile unit or force
Yesterday was one of the most disappointing days of my life. I feel like I have made efforts to build strong, healthy, and meaningful relationships. I have so many friends I can be honest with. It's one of the greatest joys of my life. But yesterday was hard because I found out that somebody I love dearly has completely stabbed me in the back. It's not even something he wishes to take back. What's worst of all, he did it right in front of my face. I asked my friend Nole to vote on my poll, in reference to my "Help Me Decide" posting. This is something very important to me because there are serious consequences. Because he's such a close friend, I assumed he would side with me. Well you know what assuming does. Before I can blink an eye he has voted to give Jill back her minutes. I was so hurt, I called him out on it. Do you know what he said to me..."Don't be a bitch." Nole, I thought you were a "favored companion" but really you are one that is "antagonistic seeking to injure and overthrow." You know what, I didn't get stabbed in the back, I got stabbed in the heart.
1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem 2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group3: one that favors or promotes (as a charity)4: a favored companion
Websters Dictionary defines enemy as
1: one that is antagonistic to another; especially : one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent2: something harmful or deadly 3 a: a military adversary b: a hostile unit or force
Yesterday was one of the most disappointing days of my life. I feel like I have made efforts to build strong, healthy, and meaningful relationships. I have so many friends I can be honest with. It's one of the greatest joys of my life. But yesterday was hard because I found out that somebody I love dearly has completely stabbed me in the back. It's not even something he wishes to take back. What's worst of all, he did it right in front of my face. I asked my friend Nole to vote on my poll, in reference to my "Help Me Decide" posting. This is something very important to me because there are serious consequences. Because he's such a close friend, I assumed he would side with me. Well you know what assuming does. Before I can blink an eye he has voted to give Jill back her minutes. I was so hurt, I called him out on it. Do you know what he said to me..."Don't be a bitch." Nole, I thought you were a "favored companion" but really you are one that is "antagonistic seeking to injure and overthrow." You know what, I didn't get stabbed in the back, I got stabbed in the heart.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Help Me Decide
I've been married for almost 10 years now. When I was 18 that seemed like an eternity but being on the other side I wonder how the time has gone so fast. Over the course of our marriage we have had our disagreements...some big, some small. But the ones that always used to frustrate me were the disputes that have an actual answer.
Exhibit A: Israel's brother Zack spent three months working with me on an investment property last year. Jill would work with us on occasion, but most of the work was Zack and myself. We would start in the morning and leave around 2pm. We never took a lunch break but I would always buy him lunch on the way home. I always took him to established fast food places like panda express and Carl's Jr. On the occasions that Jill would buy him lunch, she always took him to less mainstream places like Armando's and Rolberto's. A dispute arose when Jill claimed that Zack "hated" eating at my places but "loved" her hole-in-the-wall joints. What is the best way to settle a dispute as such? With one simple phrase, "I smell a bet." We both hate giving massages but love getting them, so we wager on massage minutes. The dispute is then settle when we asked Zack, "whose lunch do you like better?"
Exhibit B: Jill once claimed that I could do a prostate exam topically. I told her it is impossible and it has to be a rectal exam. She refuted my claim with the justification that she "saw it on Oprah with Dr. Oz." What did I say, "I smell a bet." That massage felt great.
So here is where the dilemma comes in. The biggest bet Jill and I ever had went down like this. We were driving down 7th street and got stopped at the light on Roosevelt. I looked at the Quizno's and said "I wonder when they are going to open their drive thru." Jill responded with, "they don't have a drive thru." "Well, they have a drive thru but it just isn't operational." "Mark, I was just there yesterday and there is no drive thru." "I smell a bet." This is the biggest wager we had ever made. The light turned green and the tension was mounting as we rounded the corner. It was kind of dark outside, but what was waiting there in the misty moon light you ask...a glorious, spectacular, perfectly paved, drive thru. I could instantly feel the tension in my neck being soothed. I busted out with a "Do you smell that, its the sweet aroma of victory." I made sure to redeem my minutes that night.
But I have a confession to make. I found out today that the drive thru doesn't actually belong to Quizno's but to the coffee shop on the north side of the building. Oops, my bad. This is terrible news because when Jill finds out I'm screwed. Part of me wants to keep it a secret, but the other part feels it is unethical to withhold this information. Jill is probably going to read this tomorrow and give me crap. I need to set something up so I can protect my rights. This is where you guys come in...I'm taking a poll to figure out how to rectify the botched wager. Please take the poll and help me decide. The poll will end in seven days. Thank you.
Exhibit A: Israel's brother Zack spent three months working with me on an investment property last year. Jill would work with us on occasion, but most of the work was Zack and myself. We would start in the morning and leave around 2pm. We never took a lunch break but I would always buy him lunch on the way home. I always took him to established fast food places like panda express and Carl's Jr. On the occasions that Jill would buy him lunch, she always took him to less mainstream places like Armando's and Rolberto's. A dispute arose when Jill claimed that Zack "hated" eating at my places but "loved" her hole-in-the-wall joints. What is the best way to settle a dispute as such? With one simple phrase, "I smell a bet." We both hate giving massages but love getting them, so we wager on massage minutes. The dispute is then settle when we asked Zack, "whose lunch do you like better?"
Exhibit B: Jill once claimed that I could do a prostate exam topically. I told her it is impossible and it has to be a rectal exam. She refuted my claim with the justification that she "saw it on Oprah with Dr. Oz." What did I say, "I smell a bet." That massage felt great.
So here is where the dilemma comes in. The biggest bet Jill and I ever had went down like this. We were driving down 7th street and got stopped at the light on Roosevelt. I looked at the Quizno's and said "I wonder when they are going to open their drive thru." Jill responded with, "they don't have a drive thru." "Well, they have a drive thru but it just isn't operational." "Mark, I was just there yesterday and there is no drive thru." "I smell a bet." This is the biggest wager we had ever made. The light turned green and the tension was mounting as we rounded the corner. It was kind of dark outside, but what was waiting there in the misty moon light you ask...a glorious, spectacular, perfectly paved, drive thru. I could instantly feel the tension in my neck being soothed. I busted out with a "Do you smell that, its the sweet aroma of victory." I made sure to redeem my minutes that night.
But I have a confession to make. I found out today that the drive thru doesn't actually belong to Quizno's but to the coffee shop on the north side of the building. Oops, my bad. This is terrible news because when Jill finds out I'm screwed. Part of me wants to keep it a secret, but the other part feels it is unethical to withhold this information. Jill is probably going to read this tomorrow and give me crap. I need to set something up so I can protect my rights. This is where you guys come in...I'm taking a poll to figure out how to rectify the botched wager. Please take the poll and help me decide. The poll will end in seven days. Thank you.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Confusion about "Maybe"
So I woke up this morning and Jill saw that I was on my blog. She said to me, "I didn't get your last post. (If you haven't read it, read that one first) That last paragraph was confusing." I laughed a little and said "really?" I thought I was being clever by coming up with this awesome metaphor. You all know, I love speaking my thoughts in story form. I started it off with the story about the song. Then it lead into our fight while linking the emotions to the first paragraph. The final paragraph was a response to the fight while using the song story to relay my thoughts and feelings. I thought it was a smart post until my wife read it and said "I didn't get your last post." Does anybody see the irony? So it comes down to this, I feel my wife is saying, "if you want to say something to me, just say it." Here's what I should have told her the first time without the metaphor/story and sincerity in my heart...I'm sorry, and I'll try to do better. (I think I might like that one better. Maybe.)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Maybe
Have you ever listened to a song and thought, “This is the most power piece of imagery I have ever heard.” The colors, the texture, the lyrics, the tone, the hook…it’s all perfect. You walk away from that experience thirsty for more. And when you hear it for a second time, it still has the power to bring you to your knees. Then in a frenzy of excitement you share it with somebody you love. They pause, they listen, then they respond with something like this, “It’s okay, I don’t really get it…it’s not really my style.” How could someone not see it the way I do? They are obviously missing this song’s true intentions. This same person might show you a piece of art that inspires them and you don’t feel a thing. How can two people experience the same thing and have such opposing perspectives?
Jill and I recently got into a heated discussion, okay a fight, about something along these lines. In marriage, spouses have expectations of how they want their loved one to respond to them. If one is sad, the other is expected to express sympathy. If one is insecure, the other is expected to encourage. If one is lonely, the other is expected to be a companion. This is where the fight ensues. What happens when one person says, “I’m upset at you because I’ve been sitting here sad, insecure, and lonely…and you haven’t done a thing.” Then in a blank look of confusion, the other person responds with, “what are you talking about? All I’ve done for the last two weeks is listen and encourage.” Thus both having the same experiences but have opposing perspectives.
So this is where all my mental gymnastics has brought me. Maybe the person that was deeply impacted by the song shouldn’t be so quick to believe that all others will hear what they hear. Maybe that song was destined to shape one life and only one. Maybe the listening ear should count it a blessing that the other has found a song as such. And just maybe the goal of relationships isn’t to only share the song that impacts oneself, but rather to find the song that impacts the other. Maybe.
Jill and I recently got into a heated discussion, okay a fight, about something along these lines. In marriage, spouses have expectations of how they want their loved one to respond to them. If one is sad, the other is expected to express sympathy. If one is insecure, the other is expected to encourage. If one is lonely, the other is expected to be a companion. This is where the fight ensues. What happens when one person says, “I’m upset at you because I’ve been sitting here sad, insecure, and lonely…and you haven’t done a thing.” Then in a blank look of confusion, the other person responds with, “what are you talking about? All I’ve done for the last two weeks is listen and encourage.” Thus both having the same experiences but have opposing perspectives.
So this is where all my mental gymnastics has brought me. Maybe the person that was deeply impacted by the song shouldn’t be so quick to believe that all others will hear what they hear. Maybe that song was destined to shape one life and only one. Maybe the listening ear should count it a blessing that the other has found a song as such. And just maybe the goal of relationships isn’t to only share the song that impacts oneself, but rather to find the song that impacts the other. Maybe.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Interview #3 Drea
So some of you may be surprised that Drea is my third interview. I've always got to keep you guessing. Drea is a person that I have known for years. Being in a close group of friends, we hang out together, she watches our kids, I work with her every week, our group has gone on multiple trips together, but I don't really know her. So these are the questions and answers I may have missed out on in the last 5 years.
If you could ask God one question and get an audible response,what would it be?
There would be a thousand questions about the world and the Bible, but since it’s my interview I can be selfish and a selfish question… What are the things you love about me?
What makes you laugh?
I laugh every time I hear my niece, Maggie laugh. It gets me every time. I could sit for hours with her and make her laugh and smile. It is also my favorite sound in the whole wide world. It is the purest sound I know.
Describe what you think your future husband will be like.
I have actually been asking myself this question a lot the past few days. A man who follows after the heart of God. A man who won’t settle for status quo. I want a man full of spontaneity. I want a man who will tell me this, “grab your bag, we’ll buy whatever you need when we get there.” Finally, sense of humor is big for me. We are on this journey together and if we can’t laugh, then we’re just traveling together, listening to Michael Bolton and that won’t fly with me!
If he's reading this right now, what are two things you want to say to him?
Where in the heck have you been?!?I’m really sorry about my brothers.
What does falling in love look like?
I’d be a liar if I say if I knew. The best I can do is describe it in one of my favorite songs…
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find my forever a home
so give me your forever
please your forever
not a day less will do from you
What is one thing you want people to forget about you?
Please forget the fact that I might not have talked to you. It’s not that I’m rude or snobbish; it’s just that I’m at a loss for words or simply I’m just too shy. It’s a fact about myself I hate and am trying to change. If I didn’t say hello to you, I did notice you and that new haircut, and that new purse you are carrying(which is fabulous by the way!)
What do you day dream about?
I dream about quiting my job, traveling the world and shopping. How materialistic is that?!? I hope that my day dreams turn into something more prosperous like healing the sick, seeing the lost saved, or having my car paid off.
What keeps you awake at night?
Fear. Fear that I won’t ever become what God has intended for me life. Fear that I have missed out because of my insecurities or lack of faith.
What is the best gift you have ever given?
When Kati was pregnant with Maggie, I searched for the perfect gift to give to Kati so she could have something to wear during her last few weeks of pregnancy. As most pregnant woman know, your last few weeks, you don’t feel beautiful or stylish, well I wanted my sister to feel all those things, so I bought her the perfect gift…leather maternity pants. REAL leather maternity pants. The best part about this gift, they have now been passed down to other pregnant friends. So the leather maternity pants will continue their glorious destiny of making pregnant woman feel stylish. (As long as someone doesn’t tell them that 1986 called and they want their leather pants back!)
Why did you pick video production as a major?
I had this vision of directing movies in Hollywood and winning Oscars and thanking all the little people as I walked across the stage in my fabulous dress, but reality set in. I wanted to create a way to show God through a different medium. I felt I had this creativity in me that was laying dormant.
If you could change one thing in your personality, what would it be?
I find myself to be a wee bit introverted. I see the likes of you, and the other great conversationalists who put themselves out there all for the sake of the perfect joke or the idyllic story. When I would plan the perfect joke or idyllic story, I get lost in the translation in my head. I won’t be able to get it all out the way I have it planned in my head. So I play the shy card and hope that it gets me farther in life.
What was the biggest sibling fight you got in during high school?
I never really fought with my sisters in high school, but when I was in 4th or 5th grade I was standing by the refrigerator and my younger sister, Camilla, was complaining to me about something. She wouldn’t get out of the way of the fridge,so in a moment of fleeting anger I punched her in the stomach. Mind you, this was the first moment of true violence I had toward my sister. It wasn’t premeditated but it felt amazing to punch someone. To this day, she brings up this story, how I “knocked the wind” out of her and something to the effect of her “not being able to breathe.” For me it was sweet release of years of younger sister angst.
What is the one word/phrase that makes you smile?
I’m Ron Bergundy??
If you could ask God one question and get an audible response,what would it be?
There would be a thousand questions about the world and the Bible, but since it’s my interview I can be selfish and a selfish question… What are the things you love about me?
What makes you laugh?
I laugh every time I hear my niece, Maggie laugh. It gets me every time. I could sit for hours with her and make her laugh and smile. It is also my favorite sound in the whole wide world. It is the purest sound I know.
Describe what you think your future husband will be like.
I have actually been asking myself this question a lot the past few days. A man who follows after the heart of God. A man who won’t settle for status quo. I want a man full of spontaneity. I want a man who will tell me this, “grab your bag, we’ll buy whatever you need when we get there.” Finally, sense of humor is big for me. We are on this journey together and if we can’t laugh, then we’re just traveling together, listening to Michael Bolton and that won’t fly with me!
If he's reading this right now, what are two things you want to say to him?
Where in the heck have you been?!?I’m really sorry about my brothers.
What does falling in love look like?
I’d be a liar if I say if I knew. The best I can do is describe it in one of my favorite songs…
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find my forever a home
so give me your forever
please your forever
not a day less will do from you
What is one thing you want people to forget about you?
Please forget the fact that I might not have talked to you. It’s not that I’m rude or snobbish; it’s just that I’m at a loss for words or simply I’m just too shy. It’s a fact about myself I hate and am trying to change. If I didn’t say hello to you, I did notice you and that new haircut, and that new purse you are carrying(which is fabulous by the way!)
What do you day dream about?
I dream about quiting my job, traveling the world and shopping. How materialistic is that?!? I hope that my day dreams turn into something more prosperous like healing the sick, seeing the lost saved, or having my car paid off.
What keeps you awake at night?
Fear. Fear that I won’t ever become what God has intended for me life. Fear that I have missed out because of my insecurities or lack of faith.
What is the best gift you have ever given?
When Kati was pregnant with Maggie, I searched for the perfect gift to give to Kati so she could have something to wear during her last few weeks of pregnancy. As most pregnant woman know, your last few weeks, you don’t feel beautiful or stylish, well I wanted my sister to feel all those things, so I bought her the perfect gift…leather maternity pants. REAL leather maternity pants. The best part about this gift, they have now been passed down to other pregnant friends. So the leather maternity pants will continue their glorious destiny of making pregnant woman feel stylish. (As long as someone doesn’t tell them that 1986 called and they want their leather pants back!)
Why did you pick video production as a major?
I had this vision of directing movies in Hollywood and winning Oscars and thanking all the little people as I walked across the stage in my fabulous dress, but reality set in. I wanted to create a way to show God through a different medium. I felt I had this creativity in me that was laying dormant.
If you could change one thing in your personality, what would it be?
I find myself to be a wee bit introverted. I see the likes of you, and the other great conversationalists who put themselves out there all for the sake of the perfect joke or the idyllic story. When I would plan the perfect joke or idyllic story, I get lost in the translation in my head. I won’t be able to get it all out the way I have it planned in my head. So I play the shy card and hope that it gets me farther in life.
What was the biggest sibling fight you got in during high school?
I never really fought with my sisters in high school, but when I was in 4th or 5th grade I was standing by the refrigerator and my younger sister, Camilla, was complaining to me about something. She wouldn’t get out of the way of the fridge,so in a moment of fleeting anger I punched her in the stomach. Mind you, this was the first moment of true violence I had toward my sister. It wasn’t premeditated but it felt amazing to punch someone. To this day, she brings up this story, how I “knocked the wind” out of her and something to the effect of her “not being able to breathe.” For me it was sweet release of years of younger sister angst.
What is the one word/phrase that makes you smile?
I’m Ron Bergundy??
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
That's why she's my wife
When I was in high school I was a basketball nut. I wore all the clothes. I had the special shoes. I would even sleep with my basketball on the night stand. I was obsessed with practicing and playing as much as possible. I was never a great player but I would have considered myself better than average. (I had some sweet post moves.) Anybody who played back in the day knew that the Cave Creek sports complex was the place to be. (It's now called the Rose Mofford sports complex) It has a ton of outdoor courts where guys, and the occasional girl, can always find a pick up game. On any given night there might have been 100-150 guys ready to lace up. I probably played there at least two nights a week. I honestly can't remember many experiences I had there, but I remember the feelings. I remember the sensation of success, knowing that I won all 5 games that night. I remember being angry that I didn't stick up for myself. I remember having regrets that I got into a fight. But there is one feeling that I remember most vividly. When I would have a really bad night (which was rare because I was so awesome, he he), I remember driving home trying to let go of all my frustration. And I knew the only thing that would take my frustration away was to talk to my friend Jill. I would literally console myself with the idea of talking to my best friend. (for those that don't know, Jill and I were only friends in high school and didn't start dating till college) So yesterday was one of those rough basketball nights...just a bunch of ups and downs. It's nothing unusual, just a part of life. I was driving home and couldn't stop thinking about the day...my head was spinning. Then like a wave, a rush came over me. I had a sense of calm and steadiness. It was a feeling very similar to the one I had back in high school. I was consoled with this one thought...I know that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, I get to go home to my friend Jill. That's why we talked on the phone so much, that's why I miss her when she's gone, that's why she's my wife.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Not a big one, just a simple reminder one
A couple of months back I had a conversation with a friend of mine about onePlace. Kurt is a guy I have a lot of respect for and was a pretty influential person in our community. He had even lead a small group at one point where he wrote the entire curriculum. But during this conversation he had mentioned how he had decided to make another church his home church. The main reason is because its a church that a couple of his mentors go to. I made sure to tell him that I totally understand...its nothing personal. After I hung up the phone I found myself being a little jealous. Jealous of the freedom to come and go without the responsibility of putting anything together, to learn and not teach, to sit in one seat and not have to move around. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love meeting new people, I love to worship, I love connecting, I absolutely love our community. It doesn't happen very often but every once in a while I just want to sit at home and watch The Amazing Race...or something of the sort. But being in ministry, I've forfeited that right. Don't get me wrong, I've taken Sunday's off, just never when I'm in town. So tonight I was going through the motions like every other Sunday. Set up the sound, set up stations, talk to kev about service, make fun of Israel, etc. The service started it's usual 20 minutes late. (which never bothers me, but it kind of did tonight...crazy, what does that mean?) Israel started into his third worship song when I had a moment. Not a big one, just a simple reminder one. The first verse of the song goes like this.
We are here, Because of grace, Because of love
We are here, Because of You, Because of You
Ah yes, the most beautiful and simple of reminders, being in ministry is not because it's always pleasing and rewarding. I'm in this because I found something amazing...and it's impossible for me to turn away from. I may have forfeited my rights, but it's because of grace and because of love. I pray that never changes.
We are here, Because of grace, Because of love
We are here, Because of You, Because of You
Ah yes, the most beautiful and simple of reminders, being in ministry is not because it's always pleasing and rewarding. I'm in this because I found something amazing...and it's impossible for me to turn away from. I may have forfeited my rights, but it's because of grace and because of love. I pray that never changes.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
A New Year / My Wife is Home
So this one is a two part-er.
part 1: A New Year
Once again Nelson and his crew have pulled off another amazing new years party. These are the best parties I have ever been to. The atmosphere is amazing, the music is on point, and it's set up in a way to make everyone comfortable. What makes these gatherings so amazing is the people I get to hang out with. I've got some of the greatest friends in the whole world. Through out the night I would ask different people to make a toast. Almost everyone started off by mentioning the great relationships we have. They're not perfect friendships, just meaningful ones...what more could I ask for on the beginning of the new year?
Part2: My wife is home
Yesterday my wife woke me up at 9:30am. She just wanted to let me sleep in a little after having to wake up early for the last few days. (what she doesn't know is, when jett would wake me up at 7...I would give him milk and crackers, turn a show on, and fall asleep on the couch. I would always tell him, "wake me up if you need something." One time he did wake me up and I told him, "jett, I'm sleeping, can this wait?") As I slowly arise I notice that the bedroom is all cleaned up. And what is that that I hear in the back ground, it is the sweet hum of the washing machine. Jill came back into the bedroom and said, "did you get enough sleep?" "yah, thanks." "I've got fresh made apple juice for you in the fridge." Ah yes, welcome to the good life. Watching Jett by myself was an adventure. We had so much fun going on bike rides, wrestling, and eating like crap. But spending these few days alone has made me realize how much work Jill does. I don't think I fully appreciate her and it's time I start telling her more often. I have seen the light and it is good.
part 1: A New Year
Once again Nelson and his crew have pulled off another amazing new years party. These are the best parties I have ever been to. The atmosphere is amazing, the music is on point, and it's set up in a way to make everyone comfortable. What makes these gatherings so amazing is the people I get to hang out with. I've got some of the greatest friends in the whole world. Through out the night I would ask different people to make a toast. Almost everyone started off by mentioning the great relationships we have. They're not perfect friendships, just meaningful ones...what more could I ask for on the beginning of the new year?
Part2: My wife is home
Yesterday my wife woke me up at 9:30am. She just wanted to let me sleep in a little after having to wake up early for the last few days. (what she doesn't know is, when jett would wake me up at 7...I would give him milk and crackers, turn a show on, and fall asleep on the couch. I would always tell him, "wake me up if you need something." One time he did wake me up and I told him, "jett, I'm sleeping, can this wait?") As I slowly arise I notice that the bedroom is all cleaned up. And what is that that I hear in the back ground, it is the sweet hum of the washing machine. Jill came back into the bedroom and said, "did you get enough sleep?" "yah, thanks." "I've got fresh made apple juice for you in the fridge." Ah yes, welcome to the good life. Watching Jett by myself was an adventure. We had so much fun going on bike rides, wrestling, and eating like crap. But spending these few days alone has made me realize how much work Jill does. I don't think I fully appreciate her and it's time I start telling her more often. I have seen the light and it is good.
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