Maybe

Have you ever listened to a song and thought, “This is the most power piece of imagery I have ever heard.” The colors, the texture, the lyrics, the tone, the hook…it’s all perfect. You walk away from that experience thirsty for more. And when you hear it for a second time, it still has the power to bring you to your knees. Then in a frenzy of excitement you share it with somebody you love. They pause, they listen, then they respond with something like this, “It’s okay, I don’t really get it…it’s not really my style.” How could someone not see it the way I do? They are obviously missing this song’s true intentions. This same person might show you a piece of art that inspires them and you don’t feel a thing. How can two people experience the same thing and have such opposing perspectives?

Jill and I recently got into a heated discussion, okay a fight, about something along these lines. In marriage, spouses have expectations of how they want their loved one to respond to them. If one is sad, the other is expected to express sympathy. If one is insecure, the other is expected to encourage. If one is lonely, the other is expected to be a companion. This is where the fight ensues. What happens when one person says, “I’m upset at you because I’ve been sitting here sad, insecure, and lonely…and you haven’t done a thing.” Then in a blank look of confusion, the other person responds with, “what are you talking about? All I’ve done for the last two weeks is listen and encourage.” Thus both having the same experiences but have opposing perspectives.

So this is where all my mental gymnastics has brought me. Maybe the person that was deeply impacted by the song shouldn’t be so quick to believe that all others will hear what they hear. Maybe that song was destined to shape one life and only one. Maybe the listening ear should count it a blessing that the other has found a song as such. And just maybe the goal of relationships isn’t to only share the song that impacts oneself, but rather to find the song that impacts the other. Maybe.