I've been married for almost 10 years now. When I was 18 that seemed like an eternity but being on the other side I wonder how the time has gone so fast. Over the course of our marriage we have had our disagreements...some big, some small. But the ones that always used to frustrate me were the disputes that have an actual answer.
Exhibit A: Israel's brother Zack spent three months working with me on an investment property last year. Jill would work with us on occasion, but most of the work was Zack and myself. We would start in the morning and leave around 2pm. We never took a lunch break but I would always buy him lunch on the way home. I always took him to established fast food places like panda express and Carl's Jr. On the occasions that Jill would buy him lunch, she always took him to less mainstream places like Armando's and Rolberto's. A dispute arose when Jill claimed that Zack "hated" eating at my places but "loved" her hole-in-the-wall joints. What is the best way to settle a dispute as such? With one simple phrase, "I smell a bet." We both hate giving massages but love getting them, so we wager on massage minutes. The dispute is then settle when we asked Zack, "whose lunch do you like better?"
Exhibit B: Jill once claimed that I could do a prostate exam topically. I told her it is impossible and it has to be a rectal exam. She refuted my claim with the justification that she "saw it on Oprah with Dr. Oz." What did I say, "I smell a bet." That massage felt great.
So here is where the dilemma comes in. The biggest bet Jill and I ever had went down like this. We were driving down 7th street and got stopped at the light on Roosevelt. I looked at the Quizno's and said "I wonder when they are going to open their drive thru." Jill responded with, "they don't have a drive thru." "Well, they have a drive thru but it just isn't operational." "Mark, I was just there yesterday and there is no drive thru." "I smell a bet." This is the biggest wager we had ever made. The light turned green and the tension was mounting as we rounded the corner. It was kind of dark outside, but what was waiting there in the misty moon light you ask...a glorious, spectacular, perfectly paved, drive thru. I could instantly feel the tension in my neck being soothed. I busted out with a "Do you smell that, its the sweet aroma of victory." I made sure to redeem my minutes that night.
But I have a confession to make. I found out today that the drive thru doesn't actually belong to Quizno's but to the coffee shop on the north side of the building. Oops, my bad. This is terrible news because when Jill finds out I'm screwed. Part of me wants to keep it a secret, but the other part feels it is unethical to withhold this information. Jill is probably going to read this tomorrow and give me crap. I need to set something up so I can protect my rights. This is where you guys come in...I'm taking a poll to figure out how to rectify the botched wager. Please take the poll and help me decide. The poll will end in seven days. Thank you.
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4 comments:
It seems to me that whenever I make a bet that neither or both people win (such as in this case) that no reward should change hands (and if it did, it should be returned). For example, if I bet that Dan Marino has the most TD passes and someone else says it was Joe Montana, and it was actually Bret Farve, then no reward would be exchanged and any reward that did would have to be given back. Therefore, with your situation, neither of you was technically right, so neither should have to give a massage; but if you already got one, then you better get some lotion, oils, and candles ready because you gotta be giving it back.
You might need to add some "interest" to the minutes..:-)
Good luck with that one!
Nick, your killing me. There is no option for interest in this poll. thank you.
I would like to point out the missing information in this story, i.e. the money you lost to me in a bet about wether the drive through belonged to the Quiznos or the Coffee shop. After laying down 2 to 1 odds on what I knew was a sure thing I cashed in on your over zealous mind math that you were doing in your head to figure out how far back the counter and the bathroom went. My vote is that Jill does not get a return massage because it is incumbent on the person placing the bet to do the appropriate follow up, which she obviously did not do. As far as her giving extra minutes for the rectal exam question, all is fair in love.
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