Eating with My Left Hand

Have you ever tried eating with just your left hand (or your right hand if your left is the dominant hand)? It's really awkward. For some reason, if you have a knife in your right hand it feels natural. But if you only use your left hand to eat, you look like a new born giraffe trying to walk. Well, my wife went on a trip yesterday with Kati and Drea to Kansas City. That means I got Jett all to myself for the next few days. I feel like that amateur trying to eat with my left hand.

Jill is such an awesome mom. If our family was a business, Jill would be the operating manager, the project manger, the director of quality control, the secretary, and the consulting director for standard operating procedures. I'm the guy that got hired because I'm related to the owner. I sit in cubical number 14 playing online poker and I'm constantly being accused of stealing other employees lunches out of the work fridge. Well, not the entire lunch, just the juices boxes and ho ho's. I once turned in a reimbursement receipt for a Nintendo wii claiming it would better my typing skills. Everybody in the office hates me because my sales numbers are always weak but yet I drive a H2. What gives?

Suddenly the boss is out of town and now I'm in charge. Am I drunk with power...? I should be but I'm not. I feel a sense of responsibility of not ruining the family business. I'm trying, but I'm just not as good as Jill. Out of 6 possible meals, Jett and I have eaten out or ordered out for uuummm...ALL SIX meals. The money from those 6 meals would be 2 weeks of groceries in Jill's hands. The house is a tornado, we're eating like crap, and Jett has watched more TV in the last 36 hours than he has in the last year. When is Jill coming home?

This morning Jett and I went to IHOP f0r breakfast. We shared a booth and used the crayons to color trees and buffaloes. Jett got a cheeseburger and fries, I got the steak and eggs. Once our food came, Jett nudged over and was sitting so close I could barely move my right arm. I was so uncomfortable I finally asked him to scoot over a little. He said to me, "Daddy, I want to snuggle with you." He leaned his head down and wedged it between my arm and body. I had no choice but to put my arm around him and hold him close. And that is how we sat for the rest of our breakfast. You know what I learned, I need to start eating with my left hand more often.