Tuesday, December 11, 2007

it will continue unless

I'm kind of a science nerd. Has anybody ever thought about rust? Rust is the product of water breaking down iron. When the oxygen in water combines with iron, it starts to corrode. It's a very slow and steady process. How can such a small element deteriorate such a strong product like iron? And it lives like a disease, once the oxygen has started the corrosion process, it will continue unless all the rust is removed. I haven't been sleeping well lately. It's been hard for me to fall asleep. My fear is that I still haven't fully dealt with my son's death and that the corrosion process has begun. I thought Cadence would fix some of my fears, but that hasn't quite happened. I think I've avoided the hard conversation with God and I've also avoided answering the even harder questions. This isn't something I'll probably talk about again.

1 comment:

Lewis Cash said...

Mark, I don't really know how to respond to this... but I feel like I should. Its way too easy for me to say that "I am praying for you" or "I'm thinking of you" and I imagine those feel like empty promises that do little to help you.

I guess I just want you to know that even though we talk a lot about trivial stuff (read: online poker, tattoo trips, fantasy football) that I will always be here for you if you need to talk about anything. I know its not much, but I just want you to know that.

I love you, Mark.